Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Ram Gopal Varma ki Spoof Proof Movies...

I can probably contest for watching all the movies that people in the sane world would regard as absurd, or simply crap. Probably filmmakers like Ram Gopal Verma might beat me for the prize, assuming that film makers watch the movies they make. Then again, this assumption has more reasons to be wrong than otherwise. After a lot of B-grade horror movies from the Ramsay brothers Bollywood is now in phase where distorted faces and heroines screaming under shower looking at a stranger in the mirror are not the essential ingredients to make a movie scary. The ultra focus on the kajal smeared eyes and the sepia toned screen with heavy reliance on the DTS, Dolby for the sound effects are now the attempts to scare people in a cinema hall. RGV and his Factroy productions have credited themselves with innumerable movies which they claim to have been made to scare people and the movie names also show the desperation to do so..
 Darna mana hai : People obliged. No one got scared.
Then RGV decides to make a sequel to this failed attempt and wants to play safe with the name and calls it
 Darna zaroori hai : No one turns up. (I did though and decided not to do what was zaroori).
But my concern is why does not RGV do what is zaroori? Stick to the "Company" of "Satya"s and "Sarkaars" to make the movies a bit "Rangeela".

I have seen some brilliant movies and also the spoofs on them. Some movie makers dont like their movies to be spoofed. But RGV goes one step ahead. He doesnt give an opportunity to anyone to make a spoof of his movies. His movies are spoofs by themselves. He is a master of making "Spoof proof" movies. I have seen hundreds of spoofs on the 1970s blockbuster sholay. But, was RGV ki Aag a remake of the original classic or the spoof of it? If its a remake then its definitely spoof-proof. Someone should watch it first to make a spoof of it. And if its not a remake then the Big B would be only person ever to work in the original as well as the spoof. 

What the Phoonk?! A little girl singing Jack and Jill in a male voice is absurd, but surely not scary. And we have RGV announce a reward of 5 lakh for watching it alone in a hall. I am sure, there is no way else he would have got a housefull show. A guy booking the entire theatre for himself. Ten such people making an attempt and he would give the prize for one. A neat business strategy to make up for the losses due to the earlier movies. 

If I remember right, the "naariyal" award for Bravery went to RGV. And thats surely is apt. If it did not, he definitely deserves it. 
RGV continues to be brave and give us more of unspoofable movies.

Friday, September 5, 2008

State syllabussaaa Central Syllabussaaa ??!

Aunt's are nosy and they beat Pinocchio at that. They know best what puts you in an awkward unanswerable position and never miss an opportunity to ask such questions. Few of their favourites,
1) "Yaav company pa nindu??" (Which is your company!! or rather which company do you work in)?
Now, this question should be easy to answer. But, when its to your Aunt it only gets tricky, as you got to be prepared for a chain of questions after that. Now if you say I work in Google, she might say "Google.comaaaaa??", "Aaah..yaa aunty". She might not get into the technical aspects of it, but if she has spent a lot of time in Bangalore she might even go as deep as Java, .Net and a few which she has heard somewhere and expects you to help her recall. If you fail, "How can you not know that??". But if you say some unknown company (even if its a multi billion dollar MNC, something that she cannot relate with a .com or a product or an advertisement), then you are in deep trouble. You say "XYZ networks Pvt Ltd", then look for an expression that reminds you of the Saas Bahu serials with the triple drum music in the background and may be sounds of thunder as well. Then "Campus nalli aaglilvaaa??(Didnt you get any in Campus recruitment?), after this no matter what you say, "My mama's son is a manager in Infosys. I will talk to him if you want. You send him your resume. It might work out". Abstain from disputing your aunt at this juncture or you get to listen to a sermon on the job security, IT boom and doom, and some newspaper quotes that she came across in Vijaya Karnataka or Times of India. But lets leave it at that.

2) "Nindu 10th standardalli yeshtu percentaguuu??", I guess Aunts wont ask this question to a married guy, may be they dont want to embarrass someone in front of their spouse. But if you are single (no matter your age), you are bound to bump into such questions. To be safe, it is advisable to say something like "Aunty I dont remember, but I think I did well". Your aunt may frown a bit, but you save yourself a hole in your self esteem. Dare a bit and say something between 75% and 90%, then "State Syllabussaaa central syllabussaaa central syllabussaaa??". If it is state then "Yaake tution hoglilvaa, PUC yaav collegenalli siktu?" In case you got a 95% plus score in your 10th standard, then aunty will tell here daughter or son "Nodu, swalpa guidance keLu, yaav books odidru, guide notes enaadru idre isko!" (Ask for his/her guidance. Get the books, guides, notes studied by him/her!). But, if it is less than 70%, your Aunt will be as silent as a Girish Kaasaravalli movie, with just a nod of the head..You really wouldnt want to see that. Lets graduate..

3) "Yen sikkaapatte smart kaaNstiddiya??" (What you are looking overly smart??"..Now, this is a very circumstanced question. Aunts are walking Shaadi.coms, BhaaratMatrimony.coms, and if you are looking for a girl/boy and you are very particular about their characters, just describe it to your Aunt. Trust me, she will find one and also see that all the astronomical entities are aligned to match the horoscopes as well. But if you are not interested then just be an award winning actor in Girish Kasaravalli movie. Stay silent. But it wont silent your aunt anyway. "Yeno, Vara aagi ready aagtiddiya..Hudugi nodon enu??" (Whaaaat, you are growing into a prospective groom, should we look for a girl??). Again if you are not interested, tell her something like "You dont worry Aunty, I will look for one myself". Dont say no or say something like "Not now..", unless you got earplugs firm and tight.

PS: I love all my Aunts!!;) 

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